I clearly remember the belt she use to use. Razor strapping about 2 inches thick. God only know why she called it a belt. When she told you to go get the belt you knew it was going to be bad. So bad that one beating my older brother and I got was so bad my grandmother was screaming and telling her she was going to kill us. It was a bad one. WHY?? Mom found out that some of her "special" dollar bills had been stolen from her. Right away she "knew" it had to be older brother or me. She really did beat us to within an inch or our lives. God only knows what would have happened it my grandmother did not stop her. Here's the two real kickers to this story...I was so scared of her, tried to buy and make her things so she would love me, would lie for her if she told me to knowing that if I told the truth I would be in for another good belt, etc etc so it would be totally insane and riduculos for me to do it.
If anyone (friend wise) asked about the marks you sure as hell did not say you had the crap beat out of you.The other kicker???? My grandmother found out it was my younger brother (golden child who walks on water) that did it. He did not get a beating and my older brother and I did not get an apology or any damn thing. No wonder he (my older brother) is lost in a drunken, drug addicted haze God knows where. Me ??? I am still that pathetic little girl going on and still looking for something from her but at least now I know it will never materialize or apperate at some point. But I do wish she would admit what she did, say it was horribly wrong....etc. I have to forgive her for ME not for her so that I can move on.
When I went to school she really did not like the fact that I was often teachers pet. She was actually jealous. She had to inject herself in the class room with the teacher so she could have attention on her. I am stopping for now ...PTSD is giving me shaky nerves right now.
Will do more later
